Not by Works

Our house is currently a disaster. I decided to use my break from nursing school to paint the living room now that the horrid border is down (many thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law for helping me take it down)! Somehow projects that I think will be easy and quick end up being much more complicated and take forever to complete. This seems to be a theme in my life recently. Here's a brief look at my to-do/wish list:

• Organize the laundry room so that clothes don't always end up on the floor
• Get better about washing clothes more regularly so Kent and I aren't running out of clothes all the time
• Experiment with my dehydrator (if anyone has a good fruit leather recipe let me know!)
• Scrapbook the huge pile of pictures I've been saving
• Order my wedding pictures for the photo album (it's going on two years overdue!)
• Blog more often, journal more often, read more often (nursing textbooks don't count)
• Re-break in my running shoes. I think they forgot what they were made for...

I'm realizing that some of these things, because they don't demand to get done (like studying for a nursing exam) they just fall off my radar. I then proceed to get frustrated with myself when I haven't done them. At some point I'm going to have to realize that I can pursue the idea of the woman that I want to be, but that I most likely will miss that picture by a loooong shot on a daily basis.

I want so much out of life, but there is a constant need to reconcile what one wants and what one gets. I am learning patience and contentment, or more accurate would that I am TRYING to learn these things. The more I examine my thoughts, motives and desires, the more I realize that I have such a prideful mind and a sense of entitlement that should not be there. Thank God for His grace and mercy! I need it by the truckloads.

..."For by GRACE you have been saved, through faith, and THIS NOT OF YOURSELVES, it is the GIFT of God, so that no one can boast." Eph 2:8-9

I love how you can hear a verse hundreds of times and yet get something new or different out of it each time. Right now these verses from Ephesians are a gentle reminder of the fact that God does not love or accept me based on my performance in life, or accomplishments. Therefore I need not worry about what I do or do not get done or how well I do something! God is so different from the world. The world puts so much pressure on our performance, but God just wants us to trust Him! Our God is so good!

God is continually teaching me not only about Him, but who I am in Him. My desire is that I will always be open to learn the lessons He has for me.

Here I am LORD!